SA polygamists horrified by women who want multiple husbands

Most South Africans reportedly oppose polygamy, believing that it is a patriarchal society’s way of giving men an excuse to have sex with loads of different women.

However, this morning the Presidency’s Cultural Advisor, Casanova Dlamini, rejected the criticism and defended polygamy as a treasured ancient tradition standing proudly alongside other treasured ancient traditions like stoning women to death, female circumcision and burning old women who can read because they are probably witches.

He also rejected accusations that polygamy entrenched women in a weaker role in society and stripped them of their identity.

“This is nonsense,” he said. “African women are strong. They have to be, to carry those buckets for five kilometers.”

Asked if President Zuma’s openness towards polygamy was likely to pave the way for women to have multiple husbands, Dlamini gagged before asking, “Are you on crack?”

“This is a democracy, not some orgiastic free-for-all gang-bang fantasy cooked up by insane femi-Nazis out of their freaky nymphomaniac minds,” he said. “Marriage is a sacred contract between a man and his fathers-in-law. If we mess with that, my God! It would be just a matter of months before women wanted to get educated and have jobs, and once that happens we’re days away from a cannibal apocalypse.”

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