Attempted assassination on Malema includes Rubik's Cube and logic games

Just hours after Julius Malema announced that R2-million had been offered for his assassination, the ANC Youth League confirmed that a package containing a Rubik’s Cube and several other logic games had been intercepted en route to Malema’s office. “This racist Rubik, he is trying to make Julius’s head explode,” said a spokesman.

Malema’s latest claim – that a Delmas farmer was offering R2-million to anyone who could kill him – is being widely considered his most transparent lie to date.

Asked whether the ANC would investigate the claim, track down the source of the rumour and prosecute those responsible, a party spokesman giggled girlishly and said, “As if!”

“Why go to all that trouble when we can milk Wit Gevaar right up to the ANC elections in 2012?”

However, this morning the ANCYL confirmed that it had intercepted a package en route to Malema’s office containing items potentially lethal to its president.  

“A bomb disposal team found a cube, designed by a counterrevolutionary racist called Rubik, which is all about separating the different colours into their respective Bantustans,” explained ANCYL spokesman Panado Mpande.

“There was also a game called chess, where blacks and whites battle on a racist level playing field without any revolutionary structures in place like BEE or affirmative action or tenders or arms procurement committees or FIFA or any of the stuff that makes life worth living.”

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