Zombie Strippers. A must see movie.
(via zombify)
Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt
Screw the SWC; now THIS is a real spectator sport.
The Weirdest Threesome Ever
So, let’s say we’re playing a drinking game. And let’s say it’s Never Have I Ever. And let’s say it’s your turn. And let’s say you rack your brain for the most bizarre thing you can think of. And let’s say that thing is, “Never have I ever had a threesome with two lifesize blow up dolls.” And then let’s say you laugh hysterically because of course no one is going to drink to that because of course no one has ever done that. Except you look up from your laughter and you see that I’m drinking because after this weekend and thanks to my increasingly weird column here at Toy With Me, I’ve done that.
I’VE DONE THAT.
What Google Taught Me About Vagina
About a month ago, I signed up to receive daily Google alerts for the word “vagina.” Why? Because I’m obsessed with my vagina and curious about other people’s vaginas and pretty much feel like it’s my responsibility to know everything that’s going on in the world of vagina-related news at all times.
So I set up the Google alert, right, because it’s the ultimate way to receive a daily vagina digest. Except actually, this splendid endeavor should probably be filed under Things That Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time, because it turns out that there really is a Goldilocks-like medium between “just enough vagina” and “oh my god way too much vagina make it stop abort abort ahhh,” and sometimes the things I learn land too squarely in the latter category and I sit there staring at my inbox yelling, “MY EYES! MY EYES!” while clutching my vagina and promising to never do whatever the whatever it is that I just read about.
Fine, you win. We’ll get central air.
- Damn, this chick is tiny!
Lesbian Vampire Killers - Kid you not, this an actual comedy horror film released earlier this year (2009)!
Words That Don't Mean What You Think
Yes, I do misuse some words sometimes but I make up for it by not killing people who misuse apostrophes and commas. Also English is not my first language. I don’t have a first language. I led a depraved childhood.
The English language is under assault by stupid people who use words they don’t understand, and is defended by pompous asses who like to correct those people. We’re not sure who to side with.
So here are some words that you’ll see used incorrectly on a daily basis and a helpful guide as to just how big of a dick you’d have to be to correct people on it. Also included are many pictures of these words being read by women with large boobs.
A summary of the words are:
- Irregardless:
People think it means: Regardless.
Actually means: Not a damned thing. - Peruse:
People think it means: To skim over or browse something.
Actually means: Almost the opposite of that. - Ironic:
People think it means: Any kind of amusing coincidence.
Actually means: An outcome that is the opposite of what you’d expect. - Pristine:
People think it means: “Spotless” or “as good as new.”
Actually means: “Ancient, primeval; in a state virtually unchanged from the original.” - Nonplussed:
People think it means: Unperturbed, not worried.
Actually means: Utterly perplexed or confused. It comes from the Latin non plus (a state in which nothing more can be done). - Bemused:
People think it means: Mildly amused.
Actually means: Bewildered or confused. - Enormity:
People think it means: Enormous.
Actually means: Outrageous or heinous on a grand scale. - Plethora:
People think it means: A lot of something.
Actually means: Too much of something, an over-abundance. - Deceptively:
People think it means: Nobody is sure.
Actually means: Nobody is sure.
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