One ring to rule her, er, I mean, them all! (via Amanda Patterson)
This Could Be The Greatest Wedding Photoshoot Of All Time
Julian Sunmi Park and Benjamin Jinsuk Lee got married and opted to take some of the coolest, dorkiest wedding photos possible. I like this because it’s a fun way to assert your nerdiness at your wedding without dressing up like a Klingon. It’s a perfect compromise!
The Indian Secret to a Long Marriage
At The Swami Narayan Temple in Neasden London, they have weekly husband’s marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Popatbhai, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Popatbhai replied to the assembled husbands, “Well, I’ve tried to treat her nice, spend money on her, but best of all is, I took her to Bombay for the 25th anniversary!”
The priest responded, “Popatbhai, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?”
Popatbhai proudly replied, “I’m going back to Bombay to pick her up.”
Flush Your Husband Down The Toilet
There’s a place in central Japan called Mantokuji Temple. In Medieval times, the temple served as sort of a safe-haven for unhappy wives who needed to escape bad marriages during a time when divorce was not allowed. But it’s rather progressive function has changed with the times and now it’s emerging as a mecca for modern women with relationship issues.
Celebrating the deity of the toilet, female visitors go to the temple to write their aspirations on a piece of paper and then flush it down the shitter. Visitors to Mantokuji Temple can choose which kind of potty they need to use: there’s a white one for women who want to cut ties, and then there’s a black one for those who want to strengthen them.
SA polygamists horrified by women who want multiple husbands
Most South Africans reportedly oppose polygamy, believing that it is a patriarchal society’s way of giving men an excuse to have sex with loads of different women.
However, this morning the Presidency’s Cultural Advisor, Casanova Dlamini, rejected the criticism and defended polygamy as a treasured ancient tradition standing proudly alongside other treasured ancient traditions like stoning women to death, female circumcision and burning old women who can read because they are probably witches.
He also rejected accusations that polygamy entrenched women in a weaker role in society and stripped them of their identity.
“This is nonsense,” he said. “African women are strong. They have to be, to carry those buckets for five kilometers.”
Asked if President Zuma’s openness towards polygamy was likely to pave the way for women to have multiple husbands, Dlamini gagged before asking, “Are you on crack?”
“This is a democracy, not some orgiastic free-for-all gang-bang fantasy cooked up by insane femi-Nazis out of their freaky nymphomaniac minds,” he said. “Marriage is a sacred contract between a man and his fathers-in-law. If we mess with that, my God! It would be just a matter of months before women wanted to get educated and have jobs, and once that happens we’re days away from a cannibal apocalypse.”
Very awesome wedding entrance. Pity they didn’t get a better film crew.
Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal
- Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Kelly Hildebrandt to wed … Kelly Hildebrandt?
Months after meeting online, pair with same first and last name gets engaged.
It’s enough to make a romantic comedy film writer drool over their keyboard. A young Meg Ryanesque Florida gal named Kelly Hildebrandt discovers a shirtless, Matthew McConaughey-type Texan with the exact same first and last name on Facebook.
Kelly girl sends a cyber shout-out to Kelly boy, and he answers back. Three weeks of viral flirting leads boy Kelly to head east to Florida to meet girl Kelly. A couple of months later, he’s relocating — and come October, just eight months after their first connection, Kelly Hildebrandt will marry Kelly Hildebrandt.
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